… about my line of work: when it’s bad, it can be soul-crushing; but when it’s good, it can be transcendent. this fact — as well as the fact that it can oscillate between soul-crushing and transcendent on an hourly basis — has been a near-constant source of struggle for me for as long as i’ve been in the field.
oddly enough, it feels somewhat like a drug addiction: there are long periods of time when i detest the work and promise myself that i’ll quit as soon as i can, but then there are moments, usually unplanned and unpredictable, of utter perfection. i wonder if other people in my field feel this way — like the highs are what keep them going, or, less optimistically, if they stay in it to chase the high. and if not — do they just have a higher transcendent-to-soul-crushing ratio than i do? i wonder.